Chapter 67.4

The group spent several more hours together after leaving the cafeteria. While Chloé no longer needed to map out routes around campus, she still wanted to enjoy the nice weather, which led to an impromptu trip into the surrounding city. Downtown Ekstápoli was, thankfully, quite close to campus and incredibly wheelchair friendly. After bouncing between several stores, eventually ending up with a small collection of snacks and drinks, the group veered off towards the Demali Forest Preserve. Nearly all of the trails closest to the University were paved, and wandering the picturesque path proved to be the perfect end to Chloé’s inaugural day as a wheelchair user.Once the sun dipped beneath the horizon, painting the sky in a warm tapestry of pinks and oranges, the group returned to campus. One by one, everyone bid fond farewell and retired to their homes for the evening. Nick and Tessa left first—apparently the final touches to Chloé’s wheelchair had kept the witch up all night, and Nick practically had to carry her home. Imani seemed equally exhausted, and was just as eager to fall into the sleepy embrace of her bed. Chloé, despite being physically drained from hours of excited wheeling around campus, shifted her focus to her home as well. She wondered aloud if any of her game consoles would work in the presence of the chair, and declared that her entire night would be spent finding a way to game as frequently as she used to. Vee and Amara happily escorted her back to her dorm before setting a path towards their own apartment.

Vee’s fingers laced together with Amara as they walked, the two leaning against each other as they drifted between pools of lamplight. After several minutes of peaceful strolling, Vee was the first to break the silence.

“I’m really happy for Chloé. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for her the last few months.”

“Right?” Amara said. “She seemed so much brighter today. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen her laugh like that.”

“I hope Tessa is proud of herself. She really did something special today.” Vee stared into the distance, her eyes slightly unfocused as she turned her gaze inward. “Seeing someone in distress, finding a way to fix their problems and give them a better life.”

Amara gently squeezed Vee’s hand. “You want to talk about it?”

It was getting harder and harder to hide her hesitations from Amara. Having someone so keyed into her emotions, someone that cared so fiercely about her, caused a wave of warmth to wash through Vee. She fought against the urge to hold back, to bury her thoughts until they made more sense, and responded.

“I just can’t stop thinking about… everything,” she muttered.

“Nick?”

“Nick, Chloé, the AV Club, this school, Heaven, Hell, all of it!” Vee sighed, frustrated at how worked up she already was. “I spent so many years absolutely sure of my place in this world, but now I see the cracks that have always been there.”

“How serious is this?” Amara asked. “Your powers aren’t on the fritz again, are they?”

“It’s nothing like that.” Looking around for a moment, Vee made sure they were completely alone before summoning a tiny wisp of light in her hand. “Quite the opposite, actually. I have so much power coursing through my veins that it’s a struggle to hold it all back. Did I tell you about my choir practice on Friday?”

Amara shook her head. “We spent a good chunk of Friday planning our route for our first flight, remember?”

“Oh yeah…” Vee paused, briefly remembering their amazing flight yesterday morning. “Anyways, Friday. I was in choir practice, and I’ve got a solo for one of our pieces. It was a great day, the music felt more alive than ever, and I easily gave the best performance I’d ever given.”

“That’s good, right?”

“It’s not good for keeping ourselves hidden!” Vee said, slightly embarrassed. “Every other person stopped singing, even the pianist, because they were so captivated. Beams of sunlight bent towards me, several people started crying, it was a whole thing. I’m pretty sure everyone was too distracted to notice anything magical, but still.”

With a flick of her hand, Vee dismissed the tiny ball of light. Amara, who’d been watching it skip back and forth, briefly looked behind the two of them. “Oh. Uh, I see what you mean.”

“What? What’d I do?” Vee joined Amara in turning around, then blushed in embarrassment again. They’d just finished cutting across a patch of grass connecting two lengths of sidewalk, and in Vee’s wake, small patches of wildflowers had popped up. They perfectly matched where her feet had landed, even contouring to the shape of her shoes somewhat.

“What’s next? A duet with a local songbird?” Amara asked with a chuckle.

“Ugh, I can’t believe this…” Vee cursed herself for her lackluster control, then raised an arm and summoned another small pulse of Creation. Her magic sang more wildflowers into existence, completely engulfing the small patch of grass and obscuring her floral footprints. “You’re lucky your abilities can’t overflow like that.”

Amara shivered. “Given my powers, that would either be a fiery disaster or like… an orgy or something.” Clasping their hands together once more, they resumed their trip home.

“Anyways, all I was trying to say is that I’m more confident in who I am than ever,” Vee said, continuing her earlier train of thought. “The more I learn about my new self, about these incredible abilities I have, the more I start to wonder. Is this the rest of my life? Constantly struggling against my potential? Back when I thought my only purpose was to hunt demons, everything made sense. I knew exactly when, where, and how to use my abilities. At least, what few abilities I had. It was comforting having the structure of the Church to guide me.”

“But now you know the truth about the Church, about their lies?”

“Are they lies?” Vee asked, her thoughts briefly returning to her childhood upbringing. “I’m sure Tessa would tell me that the Church is purposely misleading all their angels on Earth in a bid for control, but I don’t think that’s the case. Sure, they fundamentally misunderstand the nature of angels, but I only figured out the truth because I happened to speak directly to… y’know.”

“My godfather?” Amara said, offering up a possible pseudonym.

“Huh, I like that,” Vee said. “Yes, him. For all I know, I’m the only angel on Earth that’s had a chance to learn the truth about my existence. Now that I understand myself, now that I have access to the full extent of my abilities, I just feel like I should be doing something with them.”

Glancing back at Amara, Vee redoubled her grip on her love’s hand before adding, “Do you ever feel that way? That you could be doing more with your abilities?”

Amara stumbled slightly as they rounded the final corner before her apartment. “My abilities aren’t like yours, Vee. The last time I tried to fully embrace them, I hurt a lot of people. They’re fueled by one of the most destructive magical forces in the world; when I create things, they’re illusions meant only for deceit. When I shapeshift, it’s to lie to the world around me. It’s not like I could snap my fingers and create food and water for the hungry masses.”

“Shoot, that's not what I—”

“I know what you mean,” Amara said, cutting Vee off with a quick smile. “And despite how it sounds, I’m not upset about this. I’m happy with who I am, truly. I’m just also aware of my limitations. Creatures like me were designed to do horrible things. The best thing I can do is to simply refrain from indulging in my worst impulses.”

The two girls walked into Amara’s apartment, and Vee sighed with relief. There was nowhere in the world she felt safer, and she was looking forward to an evening cuddled up with Amara. As Vee slipped her shoes off and hung up her jacket, Amara summoned a flash of hellfire to adjust her outfit. After the flames settled into a pair of cute red pajamas, she crept up behind Vee and grabbed her waist, picking her up. Vee yelped in surprise, then giggled as Amara started spinning her around. The loving gesture scattered the growing malaise from her body, and when she landed, she felt like a new person.

“What would you want to do?” Amara asked. “With your shiny new powers?”

“That’s the thing, love. I truly don’t know,” Vee said, turning to kiss Amara on the cheek. “It’s not like I can waltz into a hospital and start healing broken bones; anything that dramatic would put me on the radar of a lot of terrible people.”

“What about Chloé? Have you thought about trying to help her out?”

“Oh, all the time, but I’d never risk trying anything. With Nick, the answer was easy; he was cursed, and wanted to not be cursed. I had a basic understanding from Saoirse about the nature of the curse, so all I had to do was reach in and pull it out. Even then, I messed up. Nick’s still a werewolf, and it’s too late to try again.”

Amara’s tail whipped behind Vee and slapped her butt. “None of that, Vee.”

“Hey!” Vee retaliated by summoning a tiny burst of iridescent sparkles around Amara’s nose, which caused her to sneeze. “I’m not moping today, I promise. Honestly, seeing him goof off with his ears earlier today made me feel a lot better about things. All I wanted to say was that I understood how to help Nick. With Chloé, what would I even do? If I try to ground her more in this plane, how do I know that she won’t end up completely human again? She loves her abilities, and I would never dream of taking them from her. No, the wheelchair is her best option; certainly better than anything I could dream up.”

As they talked, Amara rummaged through the kitchen in search of snacks before they retreated to the couch for the rest of the evening. She paused, eyes locked on the cheap coffee machine on the kitchen counter. “Do you know what I’ve been craving recently? Affogato.”

“That’s… ice cream topped with coffee, right?”

“Espresso specifically. I’ve thought about saving up for a machine, but all the good ones are crazy expensive. If, hypothetically, I had a magical girlfriend with the ability to conjure anything she wanted into existence…”

“Amara, I’m not abusing the foundational magic of all Creation to make you a new coffee machine!” Vee said, huffing and turning away.

“Come on, there’s no downside!” Amara protested. “It’s not like you’re stealing from small creators that desperately need the money. The companies that make those machines are huge! They probably have monopolies and abuse their employees and steal their pensions or whatever!”

Their argument was wholly unserious, and both girls knew it. When Vee responded, she did so with a playful smirk. “It’s the principle of the matter, Amara. By that logic, why not give ourselves a brand-new couch? A massive massage chair? No, whatever funk I’m in, the answer is not indulging in pointless consumerism.”

“Wait, back up for a moment. I think we should revisit that massage chair idea.”

Vee chuckled to herself as she jumped onto their couch. After curling up in the corner, she grabbed her favorite blanket and draped it across her lap. “You’re hopeless, love. Besides, there’s another problem you’re not even considering: my abilities work on faith. If I don’t fully believe in what I’m doing, the magic might not even work. That’s why my powers were so weak for so long! I was trying to force myself to act in ways I didn’t fully support.”

After opening a small bag of chocolates, Amara grabbed the remote and sat down next to Vee. Her tail slipped in between the cushions and wrapped around Vee’s shoulders, pulling her into the demon’s warm embrace. “I know, love. I’m just messing with you.”

As Vee nuzzled into Amara’s shoulder, she repositioned the blanket until it engulfed both of them. She slipped her arms around Amara’s waist and kissed her neck, happy to finally be home after their long day. “You’re a demon, aren’t you? Isn’t tempting me into extravagant self-indulgence your whole thing?”

“I’m supposed to seduce you, Vee, I’m a succubus. I’m sure somewhere out there is a demon that feeds on greed, but it’s not me.”

Vee stared into the distance trying to imagine a greed demon. “How would that even work? Do they follow people around at the mall and encourage them into terrible impulse purchases? Ooh, maybe they work as sales people at stores that only rich people visit. Nothing says greed like attempting to buy your seventh yacht.”

“Blech, that sounds terrible.” Amara wrinkled her face as she navigated through the unintuitive TV interface. “I clearly got the best sin. There’s nothing easier than convincing people to have sex.”

“Hm, I don’t know…” Vee cycled through the other sins in her head. “What about sloth? Lying in bed all day, tempting people to join you for just a of sleepy cuddles? You’re already perfect at it!”

“Says the angel wrapped around me in like, five different ways. And this is your blanket! You put it here!”

With a mischievous chuckle, Vee redoubled her grasp on Amara’s waist. Amara leaned down to kiss Vee on the head, and the two fell silent while the TV launched the next episode of their show.

As the girls relaxed, chuckling occasionally at the onscreen antics, Vee couldn’t stop her thoughts from wandering. What did it mean to be an angel? The Church wanted her to believe that she existed only to stop demons from invading Earth, but that viewpoint seemed so limited. How many times had Tessa ranted and raved about all the problems of the world that the Church purposely turned a blind eye to?

Vee fell asleep in Amara’s arms long before she found an answer.